Friday, November 4, 2011

Dark Friday: Funny Vampire Quotes

"One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake."
Jack Handy, 'Deep Thoughts'

"Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos."
Homer Simpson

"Oh, Lisa, you and your stories! 'Bart is a Vampire' ... 'Beer kills off brain cells' ... Now lets go back... to... that building... where bed and TV... is."
Homer Simpson

"There will be hoards of vampire bats descending on Beverly Hills.... We'll see if they can find any real flesh to puncture. I don't know."
Lucy Lawless, referencing the Hollywood premiere of 'Vampire Bats'

"I have never met a vampire personally, but I don't know what might happen tomorrow."
Bela Lugosi

"I was particularly stunned by the casting of [Tom] Cruise, who is no more my Vampire LeStat than Edward G. Robinson is Rhett Butler."
Anne Rice

"Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away... Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense."
Calvin Trillin


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