Dark Friday: 8 Reasons Not to Become a Vampire

1. No more garlic bread.
2. Blood diet causes the WORST morning breath.

3. Mortals all have read the morning paper before you.
4. Inability to see self in mirror makes grooming difficult.
5. Complete lack of tan causes people to mistake you for Bill Gates.
6. Pallid, pasty, emaciated appearance reminds many of 7-11 clerks.
7. Always have to pay full price at movie theatres (no matinees for you!)
8. Vampire job market limited to 24-hour drugstores and late-night pizza delivery people.